Beer Knight -- The What Now?
The Game. It's a Card Game. With Beer Cans as Knights. You know what? Let me do a better job of explaining that.
GAME DESIGN
Last year in 2024 — right about spring-nowish — my co-conspirator in this madness Eric said something that stuck. Not in a good way like I’m Gonna Be (500 miles) by the Proclaimers does* but much worse, like Gangnam Style**. Sorry about that. Anyway.
His words were something to the effect of “You know there’s other people who like doing all the stuff you don’t like doing? Right?”.
Huh.
I’m an artist. It’s a title I have fought for, have climbed over metaphorical bodies for*** and bled for. It’s also a term that gives me so much imposter syndrome that it’s crazy. But yet, I look at the things I make, and am kinda left with the impression that it would be nice to go back 20 years and tell myself to stop worrying about it so much. Or maybe even last week.
My current Imposter Syndrome is that I am not an illustrator. Or maybe not a good one? Anyway, 125 illustrations in on this and maybe I guess I am one. Time will tell.
I came up through Photography, made a turn into Film/Video, and had some detours into design. Now? I’m parked in the Game Design lot.
I’ve played a bunch of games of all types but have nowhere near the ‘shelf of shame’ that some of my friends have. I have a bunch of ridiculously cool RPGs that I hope someday to have the time to run/play. I’ve GM’d a homebrewed D&D campaign since December 2019, and slowly over 2024/2025 I’m finishing up my first GM session of ALIENS RPG (which I freaking love).
In all of that I have found that games break into two brainspaces for me:
STORY — this connects deeply with my photography, filmmaking and design. Story is everything. If you are making art without story, it’s pretty like candy, but has no nutrional value, like candy.
MECHANICS — this appeals to the part of me that loves structure, rules and levers. If Event A happens, what do the players do? How can I give them toys to play with that gets them to the next thing? What levers can I set up that creates an effect if they pull them? What’s the game logic?
When Story Meets Logic is a terrible movie title, but that’s where I’m living with Beer Knights. And I am having so much fun in the creation of this game. It’s hard work, but it’s so cool to see someone play and get joy from my creation.
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I made this game in response to Eric saying make something cool and creative and other people will help you figure out what to do with it.
It came out of a long rambling conversation about D&D, TTRPG, IPA, ESB, NEIPA over at my local (shoutout to Baerlic on Alberta). As I was walking home that night I kept hearing the phrase BEER KNIGHT in my head. I think I texted Eric a block away from the pub something like “It’s called Beer Knight. Not sure what it is yet, but that’s the name.”
The next day I started scratching out the rules, and drawing some truly AWFUL BEER KNIGHTS that I will show you eventually. If I show you them now you’ll just close the browser.
Many many revisions later I’m into a 10th test printing (the latest ones are real nice thanks to DriveThruCards) and about to start our next big round of “Friends and Family” Playtesting, which should lead quickly to our first blind playtest.
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Lord Ed was the first Knight I drew that Frankensteined a 12oz beer can with an illustration of a Medieval Knight.
Here’s Lord Ed in all his glory. Note those Jalapéno Eyes****
Lord Ed is a tribute — and most of my Beer Knights are tributes — to specific beers. In this case it’s Ed of Crazy Ed’s Cave Creek Chili Beer. Take one bottle of basic Modelo-eque light Mexican Lager and stuff an incredibly HOT PEPPER into it and let that steep for a good long while. Chill it way the F down. Now drink it on a hot-as-balls day. Your brain will asplode. It’s hot out, so the cold beer is great. But its also crazy spicy. So you drink more cold beer. Which cools you down. And then your mouth is even more on fire. REPEAT UNTIL DRANK. Then, once you’ve sworn you’ll never have another, you find you’ve opened another and are already deep into the cycle.
I got Ed’s Cave Creek as part of a Beer of the Month club subscription that I got from my OG Partner in Beer Crime, Dan Wolf. One month a sixer of this crazy ass beer showed up and I was hooked. It’s so bad it’s great.
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Lord Ed needed a matching ride, and I needed more bad puns, so here’s Jolly Peño (Get it? Huh? Right?) his Picante Pony. I’ve redrawn Jolly a few times, and this is the closest to making me happy. But knowing me, I’ll probably redraw them a few more before this game becomes “real”.
And because these substack game designer posts are all supposed to feature a Knight, Mount and a Weapon illustration, here’s the Gunter Glieben Glauten Glaiven. Extra points if you know. And because a Def Leppard always wants to start a fire, it’s a four bladed flaming glaive. This one came together fast, and still makes me happy so it’s probably going to stick.
Alright, that’s enough. Plenty of wordage and really, you are probably here just to look at the sweet art. I’ll do another post soon that explains more about how to play.
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TOOLS
I draw using an ancient iPad and ProCreate. Big shoutout to True Grit Texture Supply, Retro Supply Co. and Kyle’s Brushes. I do my design & prepress work in Illustrator. I make RGB magically become CMYK in Photoshop. My game trailers are all edited (or will be when I make them) in DaVinci Resolve.
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FOOTNOTES
* You can hear it, can’t you? You’re welcome™
** They are battling right now for headspace aren’t they?
*** Not really but it just sounds kinda cool to say that. More like I helped someone else who got knocked down stand up.
**** Whoa — you caught that? Really. Good for you. Wait. Are you talking about the song by Mr. Mirainga? Or that Ed’s Cave Creek Chili beer actually had a Serrano in it? I claim artistic license to comingle these memories and stand by it.
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